August 2008

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Is A Huge Disappointment.

Last night my wife and I joined some friends for a showing of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. As a huge Star Wars fanatic, I was looking forward to seeing this stylized animated flick. Regardless of the bad reviews, I took them with a grain of salt and hoped that it wasn’t as bad as most people made the movie to be. I wish I had heeded their warning and had not seen The Clone Wars. It was that bad.

Our first clue should have been the amount of people in the theater. A 9pm Saturday night showing of the movie, in its 2nd week of release, and there were a whopping 5-6 other people in the theater with us. It was only 5 minutes into the movie before I looked at my watch to see how much more I would have to endure of this crapfest.

The story takes place between Episode II and Episode III of the prequels. The Republic is in the middle of an all out war with the Separatists. While fighting the Battle droid army, Anakin Skywalker is given a Padawan learner, the highly annoying Ahsoka. The main plot of the movie revolves around crime lord Jabba The Hutt’s kidnapped larva errr child Rotta aka Stinky. Both the Jedis and the Separatists attempt to save and bring back Rotta to Jabba, and whomever does will be given safe passage in the Hutt controlled Outer Rim shipping lanes.

Throughout the entire movie I felt like I was watching a 90 minute long videogame cutscene. The animation itself, especially the humanoid animation, was very bad. Characters looked like they were floating/gliding when walking, the speech movements were way off and the walking movement was awkward. However, the rendering was well done, the backgrounds were for the most part beautiful, and the chalk like textures were very well done for a computer animated flick.

This being a Star Wars movie, I expected the dialogue to be cheesy, but Clone Wars takes it to a whole new dimension of cheesiness. The dialogue is infinitely worse than the Jake Lloyd/ Jar Jar scenes of the prequels. Heck, the prequels seem Shakespearean compared the the Crap Clone Wars. Suffering through Ahsoka and the Battle Droid dialogues I didn’t think things could get any worse. But oh god did they ever. Ziro the Hutt, Jabba’s gay queen uncle, has to be the absolute worse character in the Star Wars movies, far worse than Jar Jar and the young Anakin. Decked out in makeup and tattoos, the very effeminate speaking and acting slug was just jaw droppingly awful.

My friend had a theory regarding the prequels and Clone Wars. He theorizes that George Lucas is purposely out to destroy Star Wars so that no one will even want to touch that universe once he retires from filmmaking. After seeing Clone Wars that theory seems more and more probable. What was also frustrating is that parts of the movie showed tiny twinkles of potential, but every time that happened some very cheesy dialogue or plot point would rear its ugly head and totally annihilate it.

While watching the prequels, as bad as one of them was, I could at least find some entertaining aspects to them and I could see what Lucas was trying to acheive. With Clone Wars there is absolutely no redeeming qualities and entertainment value. I don’t even think this could have succeeded as a Saturday morning cartoon. I feel like good ol’ uncle George has destroyed a part of my childhood. After seeing Clone Wars, I’m not sure that I can spend any of my hard earned cash on anything Star Wars related (and that includes the upcoming Force Unleashed videogame that I was looking forward to). When leaving the theater I felt like I needed a very hot shower to get the stink off of me, and a few shots of tequilla to take away the bad taste that the movie left in my mouth.

If you’re at all a Star Wars fan to any degree, do yourself a favour and don’t watch this movie. It will ruin everything Star Wars for you and there’s no way to ignore or erase this. I give Clone Wars a 1 out of 10 stars.

1star

Whatever Happened to Workmanship?

Whatever happened to workmanship? Doing your job well and being proud of the work you do? For the most part, it seems like quality work by quality people is a rare find these days. Customer relations from trades people seem to fair no better.

Over the last few months I’ve had a few incidents that I’ve had to deal with that are still unresolved. One of these incidents involved getting eavesdroughs installed on our house. It was a nice sunny Saturday afternoon. After waiting for a month and a half to have our eavesthroughs installed, the day finally came. The installation date kept on getting pushed back due to the insane amount of rain that we’ve had this summer, which was understandable. Regardless, my wife and I were almost ecstatic that we were finally getting them. It only took them about an hour to get the eavesthroughs installed. A little after lunch time I walk outside to see the progress of their work only to be surprised that they were already done. I was a little surprised that they never wrang the doorbell to let us know the work was completed. It only took a few seconds to figure out why. As pictured above, on my newly paved driveway, a 2-3 foot long string of paint stood out like a sore thumb. My first reaction was that it was mud, so I whipped out the hose and tried to spray it. Nothing happened. I took out my stiff broom and started to brush away at the stain. Still nothing happened. I bent down and finally noticed that it was some type of latex glue or paint. No matter how hard I scrubbed it wouldn’t come out. How hard would it have been to let us know that they had a small accident in our driveway? The installers fessing up to the mess instead of leaving me to discover it for myself would have gone a long way in customer relations. And instead of the installers reporting the stain, I had to call their service department to complain. One of their sales guys was over to assess the damage last night and states they’ll fix the problem over the next couple of days.

At the beginning of the summer we purchased a central air conditioner for the house. The installers had a heck of a time running the inside piping due to the basement family room being finished. What should have been a 4 hours job turned into a 10 hour job. However, even though this was a challenging job for them to do, there’s no excuse for what they did to my siding (pictured left). I would have been happy if they let me know of the damage and that they’d take care of sending out someone to fix it. But yet again, I had to discover the damage for myself, call their customer service and inform them of the damage that was caused. After a couple of months of playing phonetag with their customer service, we finally had someone come over to inspect the damage. The siding should be replaced in the next couple of weeks.

Finally, my last tale revolves around whatever company my builder hired to plant trees. I’m not sure if its a builder policy or a city bylaw, but every new house on our block received a tree in our front yard. I find this great as it adds a bit of character to the neighbourhood. My problem again is with the workmanship of whatever company planted the trees. They used a backhoe to dig a square hole in my front yard that was about 3 feet by 3 feet. 6 days after the hole was dug, they finally planted the tree. Round peg, square hole. The roots of the tree were maybe a foot and a half in diameter. They filled the hole back up but that was it. They never put sod down to replace the one they dug up. None of my neighbours had this issue as they had their sod installed at the same time as they planted my tree and our sod was put down last October when we purchased the house. It would have been very easy for them to take some sod from the back of their flatbed truck and replace mine. Heck, I would have been happy with cut sod scraps from my neighbours’ installation. But no, they did jack. I had to go out to a store, buy my own soil and grass seeds and try to plant grass seeds where big chunks of dirty laid.

I won’t name the company names just yet. I first want to see how well they handle the damages and how well they do the repairs.

I don’t understand how people can’t take pride in the work they do and the quality of their work. I worked construction for about a year and nothing like this ever happened. The company and the employees took pride in leaving the place as clean or cleaner than when we arrived, letting the customer know if there was any accidental damage that was caused, and reported the damage to the office so the customer didn’t have to initiate having something repaired. I believe that this is a standard that all companies should adopt, whether you’re a one man team or have thousands of employees on the payroll.

Dark Knight Marches On

The Dark Knight continues to smash its competition and records in its 4th weekend in theaters. Over the past weekend, TDK remained in the #1 spot for a 4th weekend, a feat that was last accomplished by Lord of the Rings back in 2003. What’s even more impressive is that TDK is able to do this smack in the middle of summer blockbuster releases. LotR did it in the fall/winter, when few blockbusters are released.

The second Batman installment by Nolan took in over $26 million this past weekend, pushing it past Shrek 2 into the 3rd spot of all time boxoffice grosses, with a total of $441.6 million. It is only a little over $19 million short of overtaking the #2 spot long held by the original Star Wars. Experts predict that it should overtake Star Wars sometime before next weekend is over.

However, TDK is not expected to retain its #1 spot at the box office next weekend, with the release of the much anticipated comedy Tropic Thunder and the Star Wars Clone Wars animated flick.

Dark Knight Still #1

The Dark Knight continued to dominate at the box office this weekend, holding on to the #1 spot for the 3rd weekend in a row. Batman and the Joker managed to fend off the second Mummy sequel by raking in almost $44.5 million. Unfortunately it did not surpass the previous record holder, Spiderman 3, which had accumulated $45 million during its third weekend. As of Sunday night, this placed The Dark Knight at #8 in the all-time box office gross with $393 million.

On Monday it also surpassed the $400 million mark, making it the fastest movie to reach that milestone. The record was previously held by Shrek 2, which took over 43 days to reach that mark. This means that The Dark Knight, having reached the $400 million mark in just 18 days of release, did it 60% faster.

Zemanta Pixie

Carnivale Lune Bleue

My wife and I attended the opening of Carnivale Lune Bleue on Friday night in Kars, Ontario. Lune Bleue is a trip back in time to an authentic 1930s carnival, complete with a freakshow, a circus performance, a ferris wheel and games of chance.

We arrived around 6:15pm in the heart of Kars, where we lined up before entering the grounds. We had to wait for a ribbon cutting ceremony scheduled for 6:30, but that was running a little behind schedule due to a tardy mayor. As we waited, we were entertained by the grounds Master of Ceremony who was completely dressed from head to toe in 1930s garb, which included an old fashion cone bullhorn.

The ribbon cutting ceremony finally concluded around 6:40pm, after which we were whisked onto the carnival grounds. It was a little disappointed to find that a number of attractions weren’t ready yet. The Thrills and Skills tent which was supposed to house a 1930’s carny arcade was completely barren. There was no games of chance; no knocking down of milk bottles, no ring tosses, no shooting gallery.

The first attraction that we visited was the Ten-In-One tent where I eagerly awaited the start of the authentic freakshow Carnival Diablo. This sideshow has been in existence for the last 14 years, entertaining crowds across Canada. We were first introduced by the master of ceremony who called himself Nikolai Diablo. The first trick was a skit that derived from the russian roulette game. Diablo invited a member of the audience to hide a 9 inch long spike under one of 4 paper bags. Diablo, seemingly not knowing which bag had the spike,proceeded to smash 3 of the bags with his hand, always picking an empty bag.

We were also entertained by the strongman Mighty Leviticus who bent an iron bar between his teeth, served as a human dart board and suffered at the hands of Diablo in an electric chair. Also on the stage was Istvan Betyar, a world renowned sword swallower. The crowd gasped and clapped as he swallowed a 24″ french corkscrew sword, and simultaneously swallowing 2 broadswords. Diablo himself also entertained the crowd by seemingly swallowing razor blades, performing a fire eating act and piercing his tongue with a shark hook and then proceeding to lift a basket of rocks with his tongue.

45 minutes after the show began we were escorted into another tent, The Big Top, which is the original tent used in the first ever world performance by the Cirque du Soleil. We beared witness to a human circus, the Cirque Maroc. The acrobats in Cirque Maroc are all alumni from the Cirque du Soleil and Ringling Brothers. We were amazed by watching these acrobats performing breathtaking feats which included high wire acts, a couple of trapeze performances, a contortionist performance, a hoop show, all wrapped around a story filled with dances and a lot of comedic moments. These performances were flawless in their execution and left the crowd amazed and wanting more.

After the 1 hour long show, we briefly walked the carnival grounds. We skipped the Tropical Terrors tent which was holding the Great Snakes of the World Show as my wife has a big fear of snakes. I admired the ferris wheel, which is an authentic 1917 Eli Bridge ferris wheel. I only admired it from afar as the lineup for the ride was long and we were both a little tired.

On our way back to the car we also passed the carousel, another authentic piece of a 1930’s carnival. The vintage carousel dates back to 1938. Near the gate exits also sat a 1930s bus, the Clairvoyant Caravan, where you can have your fortunes read by either a Tarot reading or a palm reading.

The carnival also includes the Congress of Wonder, a tent filled with authentic early 1900 carnival artifacts, an outdoor restaurant entitled the Cookhouse, a High Striker and a Coin Toss.

As much as we enjoyed ourselves, I’m not sure the 60$ a ticket price is fully worth it. At 120$ for a couple, I find that price a little steep for what you get. This is not a cheap outing for a family of 4! I think it would have been more sensible if the price was in the 30$ to 40$ range. I’m sure at that price range the carnival would attract more people. We can’t really complain though, as my wife was given the tickets for free at her workplace.

All in all, I enjoyed our night out at Carnivale Lune Bleue.  If you enjoy carnivals/fairs, and you can afford the high ticket prices, this is one that you shouldn’t pass up. Just don’t do like we did and forget the bug spray!