Star Wars: The Clone Wars Is A Huge Disappointment.
Last night my wife and I joined some friends for a showing of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. As a huge Star Wars fanatic, I was looking forward to seeing this stylized animated flick. Regardless of the bad reviews, I took them with a grain of salt and hoped that it wasn’t as bad as most people made the movie to be. I wish I had heeded their warning and had not seen The Clone Wars. It was that bad.
Our first clue should have been the amount of people in the theater. A 9pm Saturday night showing of the movie, in its 2nd week of release, and there were a whopping 5-6 other people in the theater with us. It was only 5 minutes into the movie before I looked at my watch to see how much more I would have to endure of this crapfest.
The story takes place between Episode II and Episode III of the prequels. The Republic is in the middle of an all out war with the Separatists. While fighting the Battle droid army, Anakin Skywalker is given a Padawan learner, the highly annoying Ahsoka. The main plot of the movie revolves around crime lord Jabba The Hutt’s kidnapped larva errr child Rotta aka Stinky. Both the Jedis and the Separatists attempt to save and bring back Rotta to Jabba, and whomever does will be given safe passage in the Hutt controlled Outer Rim shipping lanes.
Throughout the entire movie I felt like I was watching a 90 minute long videogame cutscene. The animation itself, especially the humanoid animation, was very bad. Characters looked like they were floating/gliding when walking, the speech movements were way off and the walking movement was awkward. However, the rendering was well done, the backgrounds were for the most part beautiful, and the chalk like textures were very well done for a computer animated flick.
This being a Star Wars movie, I expected the dialogue to be cheesy, but Clone Wars takes it to a whole new dimension of cheesiness. The dialogue is infinitely worse than the Jake Lloyd/ Jar Jar scenes of the prequels. Heck, the prequels seem Shakespearean compared the the Crap Clone Wars. Suffering through Ahsoka and the Battle Droid dialogues I didn’t think things could get any worse. But oh god did they ever. Ziro the Hutt, Jabba’s gay queen uncle, has to be the absolute worse character in the Star Wars movies, far worse than Jar Jar and the young Anakin. Decked out in makeup and tattoos, the very effeminate speaking and acting slug was just jaw droppingly awful.
My friend had a theory regarding the prequels and Clone Wars. He theorizes that George Lucas is purposely out to destroy Star Wars so that no one will even want to touch that universe once he retires from filmmaking. After seeing Clone Wars that theory seems more and more probable. What was also frustrating is that parts of the movie showed tiny twinkles of potential, but every time that happened some very cheesy dialogue or plot point would rear its ugly head and totally annihilate it.
While watching the prequels, as bad as one of them was, I could at least find some entertaining aspects to them and I could see what Lucas was trying to acheive. With Clone Wars there is absolutely no redeeming qualities and entertainment value. I don’t even think this could have succeeded as a Saturday morning cartoon. I feel like good ol’ uncle George has destroyed a part of my childhood. After seeing Clone Wars, I’m not sure that I can spend any of my hard earned cash on anything Star Wars related (and that includes the upcoming Force Unleashed videogame that I was looking forward to). When leaving the theater I felt like I needed a very hot shower to get the stink off of me, and a few shots of tequilla to take away the bad taste that the movie left in my mouth.
If you’re at all a Star Wars fan to any degree, do yourself a favour and don’t watch this movie. It will ruin everything Star Wars for you and there’s no way to ignore or erase this. I give Clone Wars a 1 out of 10 stars.


Whatever happened to workmanship? Doing your job well and being proud of the work you do? For the most part, it seems like quality work by quality people is a rare find these days. Customer relations from trades people seem to fair no better.
At the beginning of the summer we purchased a central air conditioner for the house. The installers had a heck of a time running the inside piping due to the basement family room being finished. What should have been a 4 hours job turned into a 10 hour job. However, even though this was a challenging job for them to do, there’s no excuse for what they did to my siding (pictured left). I would have been happy if they let me know of the damage and that they’d take care of sending out someone to fix it. But yet again, I had to discover the damage for myself, call their customer service and inform them of the damage that was caused. After a couple of months of playing phonetag with their customer service, we finally had someone come over to inspect the damage. The siding should be replaced in the next couple of weeks.
The Dark Knight continues to smash its competition and records in its 4th weekend in theaters. Over the past weekend, TDK remained in the #1 spot for a 4th weekend, a feat that was last accomplished by Lord of the Rings back in 2003. What’s even more impressive is that TDK is able to do this smack in the middle of summer blockbuster releases. LotR did it in the fall/winter, when few blockbusters are released.
The Dark Knight continued to dominate at the box office this weekend, holding on to the #1 spot for the 3rd weekend in a row. Batman and the Joker managed to fend off the second Mummy sequel by raking in almost $44.5 million. Unfortunately it did not surpass the previous record holder, Spiderman 3, which had accumulated $45 million during its third weekend. As of Sunday night, this placed The Dark Knight at #8 in the all-time box office gross with $393 million.
My wife and I attended the opening of Carnivale Lune Bleue on Friday night in
The first attraction that we visited was the Ten-In-One tent where I eagerly awaited the start of the authentic freakshow Carnival Diablo. This sideshow has been in existence for the last 14 years, entertaining crowds across Canada. We were first introduced by the master of ceremony who called himself Nikolai Diablo. The first trick was a skit that derived from the russian roulette game. Diablo invited a member of the audience to hide a 9 inch long spike under one of 4 paper bags. Diablo, seemingly not knowing which bag had the spike,proceeded to smash 3 of the bags with his hand, always picking an empty bag.
45 minutes after the show began we were escorted into another tent, The Big Top, which is the original tent used in the first ever world performance by the Cirque du Soleil. We beared witness to a human circus, the Cirque Maroc. The acrobats in Cirque Maroc are all alumni from the Cirque du Soleil and Ringling Brothers. We were amazed by watching these acrobats performing breathtaking feats which included high wire acts, a couple of trapeze performances, a contortionist performance, a hoop show, all wrapped around a story filled with dances and a lot of comedic moments. These performances were flawless in their execution and left the crowd amazed and wanting more.
After the 1 hour long show, we briefly walked the carnival grounds. We skipped the Tropical Terrors tent which was holding the Great Snakes of the World Show as my wife has a big fear of snakes. I admired the ferris wheel, which is an authentic 1917 Eli Bridge ferris wheel. I only admired it from afar as the lineup for the ride was long and we were both a little tired.